Inside Critic

This week as I was looking around my house wondering why I'm not a better decorator, my eyes landed on the bird my husband had drawn in high school using colored pencils.  Let me just mention that my husband is a brilliant, brilliant artist.  This bird, a robin, has one delicate foot resting on a cut orange.  The colors are vibrant, the shading delectable, and the proportions correct.  I LOVE this bird.  Which is why I framed it and hung it on the wall in the living room.  (Where it doesn't match, because I don't have anything black and orangey/red.  But there it hangs anyway.)  My husband, on the other hand cannot see anything in it but the flaws and is deeply embarrassed when anyone notices it.  He's especially embarrassed when I start gushing about it.  But it doesn't stop me.

That got me to thinking about that line in the movie "An Affair to Remember", the line where the grandmother says of Carey Grant's character "the critic destroys before the artist would create", or something to that effect.  That describes my husband to a tee.  He has all but stopped creating art because he's too critical of what may come out of his fingertips.

I think all of us suffer from our inner critic's voice at some point or another, whether it's when cake decorating, knitting, horseback riding, or whatever.  There are so many mornings when I look at my computer screen and what I had written the day before and think, "Am I even any good at this?"  The immortal Gail Carson Levine has been known to admit that every time she starts a new story she wonders if she has another book in her.  And that's a Newberry Honor Winner!

The only I can stop my inner critic from ripping everything I write, or think of writing, to shreds, is to remember the words of my BFF Shannon Hale.  (Just as a side not: is it stalking when my BFF doesn't know she's my BFF?)  BFF Shannon says that she doesn't worry so much about the quality of her writing on the first draft because there is always another draft in which to fix it.  There's always time to make it better.

Sweet, sweet words.  Always time.

That's assuming I CAN make it better, but that's where my inner little sister comes out and says, "I can do that too!"  Don't all little sisters try to keep up with their older siblings?  Well, that's all I'm doing, I guess.

Playing catchup.

Do you hear me family??

Stop being so stinking accomplished!

I think I've gotten off topic.

Signing Schedule

Thanks to Andrea for her blog post at Literary Time Out.  You can see it here.

I'm happy to report that I have a book signing schedule. It is:

June 15 - Costco in Orem, Utah from 11 AM till 6 PM (Long day.)
June 22 - Costco in Orem, Utah from 11 - 6 (another long day. So, come and make me happy.)
June 23 -BOOK LAUNCH at Eborn Books in the Provo Town Center in Provo, Utah from 1-4 PM.
June 29 - Back at Costco from 11-6.

I'd like to apologize to all those Wellingtonians for not doing a signing in their neck of the world.  I would love nothing better than to visit (even in the middle of winter), so please forgive me.  You're not forgotten.

Please note the new button on the sidebar (hopefully it's working).

I think that's all the business I have to discuss today.  Happy.  Happy.

Hard Copy

Wa-hoo!

Just got copies of "Uneasy Fortunes" on Friday.  They look gorgeous.  Seeing my name on the bottom is just as awesome as I thought it would be.  But I have to admit the best part of all was seeing my husband get excited about it.  He even said he showed his students.  *grin*

The dedication is to all my sisters (biological or otherwise) and I hadn't anticipated that my brothers would be upset by this.  It's a girly book.  How bizarre would it have been to dedicate it to a bunch of men who will probably never read it?

Also wanted to post a great review done by Aimee.  A post I appreciate very much.
http://gettingyourreadonaimeebrown.blogspot.com/2012/06/uneasy-fortunes-by-mandi-ellsworth.html

Check it out. It's awesome.

Just a reminder that the book will be available in Deseret Book, and online from B & N and Amazon.  Or you can buy it here.

Avenged

There are some people that are so quick-witted it leaves me in the dust and I sit there, licking my slow-moving mental wounds and think, "how did they come up with that?"

For example:  My brother-in-law (I won't use his name because he's a lawyer on top of being clever and I don't want to mess with him).  He comes up with some of the best one-liners.  The kinds of things that people remember years later and still laugh about.  The kinds of things that get re-told at parties.  I would tell you some, but right now the only ones I can think of might offend some people (one uses the word "crap".  I know. Gasp!)

Okay.  You talked me into it.  (Isn't it nice to be a writer?  I can imagine the responses of other people.  No need to wait for actual answers.)

Just after buying a house that my brother-in-law had to make repairs on, he was talking to the previous owner about it.  The previous owner said something to the effect of "If you'd just be willing to eat some money up front, you'll come out better in the long run."  To which my brother-in-law replied, "I've eaten so much money on this deal I'm crapping quarters."

He just comes up with that stuff!

Another person who has that kind of wit, in my opinion, is the actor Robert Downey, Jr.  (We just went to see "Avengers" and I'm not ashamed to say I loved it.)  RD,Jr. came up with so many one-liners that I was still laughing about what he'd said when he came up with something else to laugh about.

I've always wanted to be that funny.  Always wanted the kind of power to take a situation and see the humor, then get other people to see the funny.

I have only ever felt that way in one situation.  The kind of situation I control completely.  The kind I can take time to think through things.  I really only feel funny when I write for certain characters and manipulate their dialogue into ways I can giggle over.

Is that sad, or just pathetic?

I guess that's one of the beauties of writing fiction.  If I can think it, I can create it.  I can even make myself funny.

Just a Little Addiction

So on Saturday I started reading a book I picked up at random from a library shelf and before I had even finished the book I'd gone back to the library to get two more of that author's books.  Then I proceeded to read until 2:30 that night so I could finish the second book of the day.

I fully and freely admit I am pathetic and have no social life to speak of.

I justify these actions in two ways.

The first justification is that in every author's blog I've read, in every seminary I've attended as a reader of writers, in every bit of advice I've received in regards to being an author, everyone says that in order to write, one needs to read.  Often.  And in the genre you'd like to write in.

Personally, I like to read in two genres, generally.  The biggest and bestest is Young Adult Fantasy and that's what I usually write as well.  But then, sometimes I remember I'm a woman with a sex drive and a hyper-active romantic streak and I delve head first into the kind of books I blush about when other people see the covers.  (I must take a moment here and clarify:  I do not read books that talk about the act of what I consider sacred.  If a book begins to get too intimate, I close the book and don't open it again.  I'm talking about the kind of romance that begins with a touch of the hand and ends with a lengthy kiss.  Call me old fashioned, if you will.  At least I don't feel like a dirt bag at the end of a chaste book.  Instead, I close it with a contended sigh and go kiss my husband.  He doesn't mind.)  And with all that being said, I still hide the book covers.

And since, I have written a book in this toe curling genre, I should probably read as many as I can.  I'm only doing my duty, really.

My second justification:  last night when I lay my tired head on my feather pillow, I smiled the kind of smile that only comes from completing a guilty pleasure.

It was totally worth it.

Theories

Is there anything more debilitating than failure when you don't expect it?    But I've moved on (obviously, since I'm still talking about it).

Now hold on to your pants because my cleverness is back in bucketfuls and I'm going to share.  As with everything on this blog, it's all my own opinions and you're welcome to disagree.  Just don't tell me about it. *grin*

A while ago I decided there were two kinds of authors: those who were good storytellers and those who were good writers.  Stephenie Meyer is a good storyteller.  So are J.K. Rowling and Suzanne Collins.  I would go so far as to say most of the popular writers of our day are good storytellers.  They write the kind of story that grabs you from the start and you find yourself falling in love with vampires or fighting off The Dark Lord while speaking in a British accent. Maybe you even spend a night listening to a person dying. (I'm talking BOOKS not movies.  Please don't even get me started on the movies of these books.  They ruin everything!  Stop me now.)

I've recently re-discovered the power of a good storyteller, even when telling a story I'm not especially interested in.  Louis L'Amour sucks me in every. stinking. time!  I love getting sucked in.

The other category is good writers.  Think Markus Zusak, Eva Ibbotson, Nathaniel Hawthorn.  The kind of writing that makes you stop and notice the writing.  The words used.  The order the words are in.  It actually takes you away from the story to notice how brilliant the writing is and then make you feel stink because you could never achieve that kind of greatness.

Then there are the truly exceptional.  Those authors who combine the two.  It's a pretty small list.  Off the top of my head, I can think of two.  (Both of whom are women, but don't let that make you think I'm biased or anything).

Shannon Hale
Jane Austen

You see?  There is a reason why I love Shannon Hale so much.

Alright.  I lied.  I can think of more.  Megan Whalen Turner, Charles Dickens, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (I'm positive I'm leaving someone important off the list, but it's not coming to me.  Possibly because I'm too concerned by including male names).

They combine the art of using words in a meaningful and beautiful way with the art of telling a beautiful and meaningful story.  They produce the kind of book that has layers and every time you read it you find more to it.  You come away feeling smarter.  To find an author of that caliber is a wondrous feeling.  At least for me.  It's the kind I aspire to be, but fear I never will.

Here's to aspirations.
Cheers.

Clever-less

I'd like to thank Anne of The Book Garden for her review of "Uneasy Fortunes".

If you'd like to read it, follow this link.

Last week I had a whole post in my head to type up and give the world a "hmm" moment with my cleverness.  But I just got a rejection for a manuscript that I thought was pretty dang good.  And now I'm not feeling quite so clever.

I think I'll go bury my head.  But stay tuned for the cleverness. I'm bound to get it right sometimes.