29 May 2012


There are some people that are so quick-witted it leaves me in the dust and I sit there, licking my slow-moving mental wounds and think, "how did they come up with that?"

For example:  My brother-in-law (I won't use his name because he's a lawyer on top of being clever and I don't want to mess with him).  He comes up with some of the best one-liners.  The kinds of things that people remember years later and still laugh about.  The kinds of things that get re-told at parties.  I would tell you some, but right now the only ones I can think of might offend some people (one uses the word "crap".  I know. Gasp!)

Okay.  You talked me into it.  (Isn't it nice to be a writer?  I can imagine the responses of other people.  No need to wait for actual answers.)

Just after buying a house that my brother-in-law had to make repairs on, he was talking to the previous owner about it.  The previous owner said something to the effect of "If you'd just be willing to eat some money up front, you'll come out better in the long run."  To which my brother-in-law replied, "I've eaten so much money on this deal I'm crapping quarters."

He just comes up with that stuff!

Another person who has that kind of wit, in my opinion, is the actor Robert Downey, Jr.  (We just went to see "Avengers" and I'm not ashamed to say I loved it.)  RD,Jr. came up with so many one-liners that I was still laughing about what he'd said when he came up with something else to laugh about.

I've always wanted to be that funny.  Always wanted the kind of power to take a situation and see the humor, then get other people to see the funny.

I have only ever felt that way in one situation.  The kind of situation I control completely.  The kind I can take time to think through things.  I really only feel funny when I write for certain characters and manipulate their dialogue into ways I can giggle over.

Is that sad, or just pathetic?

I guess that's one of the beauties of writing fiction.  If I can think it, I can create it.  I can even make myself funny.

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