16 December 2013

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

In honor of my 100th post, I thought I should address a serious matter.  Maybe it's just me, but I think Christmas decorations this year are a little tipsy.

There are the non-conformists, which should be mentioned first at every party.  You know what I'm talking about.  The lights on someone's house are all staid and stationary, except for one grouping that is flashing like it's Mardi Gras.  Or a set of lights that is set on the slowest setting, so it looks like they're taking really long blinks right before falling asleep.  Or blinking like a drunk trying to think.  

But the non-conformist lights are the norm.  This year I've noted a couple other indications that Santa is a little too free with the party punch.

Close to my house there's one sorta like this:

Festive right?  Except for the fact that the two reindeer are totally wasted.  Santa's ready to go, but the deer can't even stand up straight.  They list to the right, like a shipwreck.  Every night.  Dude Santa!  Ease up on the Christmas cheer.

Some friends of ours put up some great animated decorations like this:

Imagine three of these in a row, and the heads are supposed to move up and down at the neck.  Except only the middle one moves.   I couldn't help but think the middle one has been stuck there by the others, smelling the backside of the guy in front of him every night for the entire season.  When I got out of my car, I could almost hear the other two reindeer yukking it up.

To be fair, Santa can't take care of every thing.  Especially not at moments like this:

Two questions:  Why is Santa bathing in someone's front yard?  And two, why does that reindeer look so interested?  

Someone's going on the naughty list.

Happy Holidays!

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