22 April 2018

The Not-So-Obvious Stuggles

Two weeks ago I was lucky enough to head up the Spring book fair at my son's elementary school.  It was a serious blessing that I didn't have to run the thing alone because, as it was, I felt like I was run off my feet.  From 8:00 in the morning until nearly 5:00 in the evening I was at that school, freezing my tush off in the gym, and helping people buy books on inefficient registers.  It was fun, because I love books and love talking to people who love books, but I'm telling you, I felt like a dead and beaten horse at the end of every day.

To add a little touch of aggravation, our washer died.  Completely and unexpectedly.  So, I've been trekking to the laundromat for about a month and a half, once a week.  During the book fair, my husband came to the laundromat with me, and we didn't finish with the clothing until midnight.

The next night we went and bought a new washer. *snort* Nothing like lighting a fire under the right bottom.

Twice that week I woke up in tears because I didn't think I could handle another day.

It was also a very busy weekend following the book fair.  So, no rest for the weary.

When I finally had a normal week in front of me, I crashed.  My children were at school and I tried to get things done and be a productive, normal, individual, but it didn't quite work out that way.  I spent a lot of time sitting and lying down. I didn't even have the energy to write. After three days of struggling to be normal, I gave in to what my body wanted to do anyway, and slept for fifteen hours straight.  I was groggy for a few hours afterward, but then I actually did feel normal, instead of just trying to be.

I tell you this whole saga of my busy week, and the ensuing crash, not because I want sympathy or anything similar to it.  It's just life.  Everyone has something they struggle with, and I felt like I needed to share what I struggle with, since it isn't obvious to most people.

I was talking to my sister-in-law yesterday and she and I thought it would be great if anything that was wrong with you physically showed up on the outside.  You could look at someone and immediately know.  Oh! They have the stomach flu.  Or, That back pain isn't getting any better.  Or, They have the same stuff I do!  But because we're all able, to varying degrees, to disguise our ailments, most people have no idea we have ailments at all.

I have ailments.  I ail.  Just like each of you.  Let's not be afraid to share those ailments with each other, because through our sharing we become stronger, more honest with ourselves and others, and more able to cope with the things we struggle with.

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